You Don't Follow Directions!

Alrighty guys...I want to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich! Unfortunately, I don't know how to make one.  Do you think you can help me out?

That was the opening for writing a how-to.  The goal of this opening was to model how your instructions must be clear and detailed in a how-to.  I already knew I was going to act like Amelia Bedelia and take their instructions literally.  The children were really excited and couldn't wait to teach me how to do something.  Here we go...

I laid my ingredients on the table and waited for my instructions.

Students:  Get 2 slices of bread and put the peanut butter on it.

Me:  (I take 2 slices of bread, the jar of peanut butter and put the jar on top of the bread.)

Student #1:  Mrs. Daley! You don't put the jar on top of the bread!

Me:  Well, that's what you said!

Student #1:  No! You take the knife and put some peanut butter on it.

Me:  OH!

Student #2:  Yeah, then you put it on the bread.

Me:  Put what on the bread?

Student #2:  The peanut butter.  Spread the peanut butter on one slice of bread.  Spread it all over.

Student #3:  Then get the jelly and put it on the bread.

Me:  (I put the container of jelly on top of the bread)

Student #4:  Oh boy, Ms. Daaaaalllllleeeeeeyyyy! You don't listen or follow directions!

Me:  WHOA! I don't what?!?!?!

Picture that!  The children told ME that I don't listen or follow directions!  Look who's talking!  Welcome to my world!  I could put them in a million situations like this and they still wouldn't understand my pain!  I must say that I was very amused at their frustration with me.  You think they wanted to inflict pain on me?  Most likely...